rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
