Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Someone signed my nipple.
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