you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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