If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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