people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
