I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize