how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
