Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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