I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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