He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i out mim tonsoeep
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