She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
