take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
