I didn't shave. On purpose
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
