Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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