You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize