Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
