let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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