you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
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