my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Come see our sink grown plant.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
