i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
