Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
