i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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