i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
