it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
