ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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