I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
