I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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