I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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