why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize