My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
