hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
