I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
