You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
