he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
my poor anus
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize