You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
