It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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