2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i think im in europe. pls send help
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
