maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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