I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
