I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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