just come out here and I will go home with you...
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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