You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
