She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
