I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
