Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
