9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
