even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i've created a new STD.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
