i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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