so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
