Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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