At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
