after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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