I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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