Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize
