Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize