I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
