She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
