my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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