Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
