Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You've changed since you got that strap on
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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