Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
